No Heroes: Suicide Squad Explained pt 3

Welcome back to part three in our series exploring the line-up for the upcoming Suicide Squad film. The movie may have only just started filming, but director Dvid Ayer has released a series of cast photos that have already caused a lot of noise online. Besides an ongoing debate over the Joker’s new look, most of it was focussed on the fact that the vast majority of these characters are completely unknown. To that end, we’ve put together a series of articles covering the line up as seen in the large cast photograph. Part One covered Slipknot, Captain Boomerang, and the Enchantress. Pat Two looked at Katana, Rick Flag and Harley Quinn. In Part Three, we’re covering Deadshot, Killer Croc, and El Diablo. 

Deadshot

 Another character who’s more antihero than full-on supervillain, Deadshot is a long time rival, and foe, to DC’s Batman. Often working as a hired assassin, Deadshot’s tagline is that he will ‘never miss’ a target. A highly capable marksman, Deadshot’s favourite weapons are a set of silenced, wrist-mounted guns. His prowess are enhanced by a cybernetic eye which enhances his accuracy and provides data on targets direct to his brain.

Deadshot has been a major player in the last two incarnations of the Suicide Squad, bringing both his skills as a marksman and his disregard for human life to the table. Well, when the team’s objectives revolve around taking out dangerous targets, a boomerang isn’t really going to cut it, right? One of Deadshot’s defining traits is his desire to die in a spectacular fashion. This desire is a key reason for his joining the team in the first place. With no reason to continue living, and an aversion to suicide, he simply does not care if he dies. Various reasons have been cited for this, but the most common thread in them is his parents’ abusive relationship.

Will Smith as Deadshot

Will Smith, cast to play Deadshot in Suicide Squad, is inarguably the biggest name on the cast list. The casting also strikes a chord for diversity, as the original comic book character is caucasian. The necessity of this change is questionable, considering that the team is already pretty diverse, including Katana (Japanese) and El Diablo (Mexican American) and double the number of female members of both Justice League and The Avengers. Of course, it worked for Marvel’s film franchise.

Deadshot should also not be confused with Deathstroke, another Batman villain and weapons master. Although both characters have their connections to the team, I personally question the idea of having characters with such similar names on the same team. It’s just confusing. He’s also entirely different from Marvel’s Deapool, who was created as a parody of Deathstroke. Yeah.

Killer Croc

Killer Croc, by Francesco Mattina

Another character drafted in from the Batman comic books, Waylon Jones was born with a form of atavism, leaving him with distinctive reptilian traits. Raised by an alcoholic aunt who hated his hideous appearance and brutal behavior, Waylon was the victim of physical anmd emotional abuse until he finally  killed his aunt and became a criminal. Like many of Batman’s villains, Killer Croc’s original motivation was to be the new kingpin of crime in Gotham. After killing his way through half of the city’s underworld, Killer Croc was finally defeated by Batman.

Aesthetcially, Croc’s appearance has varied wildly since his introduction. The character originally appeared as a powerfully-built man covered entirely in green scales, but with normal facial proportions and build. Various subsequent adaptations have featured tails, claws, elongated jawlines, and colour-schemes ranging from green to brown to grey. Since DC’s, line-wide reboot, The New 52, Killer Croc has been shown with an actual crocodile’s head, a change which has yet to be explained. Fortunately, the film appears to have given the character a much more toned-down appearance, with reptilian skin and no tail.

Killer Croc is another character who has nothing to do with the Suicide Squad in the DC comic books. However, his extreme violence and ruthlessness fits perfectly with the team’s goals and structure. It’s easy to see the serial-killer coerced into joining the team, if only to get out early from one of his many, many life sentences.

Adewale Akinnuoye-Agbaje as Killer Croc

El Diablo

Like Rick Flag, there have been several incarnations of El Diablo in DC comics. The original was a bank teller named Lazarus Lane in the Wild West who was left in a coma after being struck by lightning. After being revived by a Native American shaman, Lane became possessed by a demon which would emerge whenever he fell asleep. Despite all this mystical stuff floating around, Lane actually had no superpowers other than increased stamina. However, he was proficient in the use of several weapons, notably his bullwhip, bolas, and guns.

Like the vast majority of characters, El Diablo was reinvented for DC’s New 52. The new El Diablo, and the only one to be a member of the Suicide Squad, is a Mexican criminal named Chato Santana who met Lazarus Lane after being hospitalised by the police. Santana is given the powers of a minor vengeance demon by Lane, who was in a living coma and died after the transfer. Unlike Lane, Santana combines his weapons mastery with various forms of heat control and fire manipulation.

As the film’s incarnation is portrayed by Jay Hernandez, an actor of Mexican American descent, and because the Santana version of the character is the only one to be a member of the team in the books, this is the most likely iteration of the character to appear in the film.

Jay Hernandez as El Diablo

No Heroes: Suicide Squad Explained pt 2

Welcome back to our in-depth look at the up-coming Suicide Squad, where we take a look at the team’s roster and work out how in the name of Cthulu it makes sense in the context of the characters’ extensive backstories. With cast photos popping up all over the net, a lot of people who aren’t familiar with comic books in general, or the minutia of the DC universe in particular, are wondering where all of these characters are coming from. Part One looked at the team’s origins as a whole, as well as introducing Captain Boomerang, Slipknot, and the Enchantress. Today, we’ve got Katana, Rick Flag (or should that be ‘Flagg’?) and the indomitable Harley Quinn. 

 Katana

Because everybody loves a samurai.

Tatsu Yamashiro’s origin story is a classic of boy meets girl, boy loves girl, boy and girl get married, have children, then boy’s twin brother shows up and kills boy because he is also in love with girl. Oh, and her two children were also killed by a fire started by her brother-in-law. Of course. Driven mad by grief, Tatsu came to believe that her husband’s soul was now trapped in the sword used to kill him, a weapon known as the ‘Soultaker.’

Thus began a long and lustrious (ish) career as a crime-fighter and super-heroine. Katana’s main objective has always been to hunt down those responsible, or even just connected to, her husband’s death in order to avenge him. Besides her sword, which may or may not have the ability to absorb the souls of those it kills so that they can advise the wielder, Katana relies on an array of martial arts skills.

So how does a character like this end up on the Suicide Squad? Well, technically, she doesn’t. Katana was only ever

Karen Fukuhara as Katana

invited to take part in one mission with the Squad, a mission she turned down for various plot and character-related reasons. As she’s not a criminal, it’s not immediately obvious how Katana comes to be involved in the team. At the moment, there are two possibilities. The first is that, unlike the rest of the Squad, she is an outside agent asigned as a handler to help keep them under control. Alternatively, her possibly-haunted sword may have forced her to kill someone in a manner that resulted in her arrest and imprisonment. As Katana is driven by her need for revenge, it’s easy to see her subsequently joining the team so that she can be released from jail and get on with her manhunt.

Rick Flag

 Another tricky one to place as the DC universe features not one, not two, but three Rick Flags, each the son of the one before. The first two Flags were both members of the Suicide Squad at various times. However, as the first Rick Flag was a World War II veteran, it’s unlikely that he’ll feature in this film. Unless DC want to rip off Captain America completely, of course.

Rick Flag is another character who, on paper, doesn’t quite fit the Suicide Squad’s remit. In the books, he is the only character who isn’t some form of criminal. A covert agent tapped by US the government to lead the new Suicide Squad under the direction of Amanda Waller, Flag hated working with the criminals under his command, particularly the murderous Deadshot. Already reluctant to take on the role, Rick quickly began to show signs of mental instability. Which is what happens when you spend all day around someone who calls himself ‘Captain Boomerang,’ I guess.

Flag has no superpowers of his own, and luckily doesn’t have any gimmicky weapons, either. To be fair, with already got characters who favour boomerangs, ropes, and a Japanese sword, so it’s hard to imagine what else you could throw into the mix without becoming truly ridiculous. No, Flag is a good old-fashioned soldier, with the usual peak physical condition that comes as standard on all comic book characters. Oh, he’s also an expert  in military, Special Forces, and guerrilla tactics, strategy, and demolitions. Who isn’t, right? John Kinnaman as Rick Flag

Harley Quinn

 Harley is probably the most famous (or at least, infamous) character in Suicide Squad other than the Joker. The character stands out not only because she is one of the few female supervillains to have her own on-going title, but also because she started out as a tv character in Batman: The Annimated Series. Harley is also one of the youngest characters to appear in the film, making her debut in 1992. Dr. Harleen Frances Quinzell, was originally a psychiatrist at Arkham Asylum, where she fell in love with the Joker and becomes his accomplice and on-off sidekick. Honestly, the state of the medical profession these days. In the comics, Harley Quinn alternates between being a strong, independent villain in her own right and being the Joker’s girlfriend-cum-punching bag. In some versions, simply being around the Joker appears to have been enough to drive her dotty. In others, the Joker intentionally exposes her to the same insanity-inducing compound that bleached his skin and drove him mad. And my most recent first date was just dinner at a restaurant…

Margot Robbie as Harley Quinn

There was a minor uproar among friends when the character was redesigned as part of DC’s ‘New 52’ initiative, which saw a universal reboot of the DC universe. The ‘new’ Harley, which the movie version seems to be based on aesthetically, traded her original black and red harlequin outfit for something you’d find in a brothel designed by Elton John. This new incarnation is almost entirely independent of the Joker, striking out on a twisted path of antiheroism and villainy all of her own. In fact, the casual killing spree she goes on after the Joker breaks up with her is what leads to the character’s incarceration and eventual recruitment into the Suicide Squad in the first place. However, the fact that her movie counterpart wears a jacket with ‘Property of the Joker’ emblazoned on the back may call this into question.

Many action films contain romantic subplots, which often feel shoehorned in so that the film will appeal to the girlfiends of the guys who ‘actually’ want to see it. Yeah. However, because Joker and Harley are both such bat crap crazy lunatics, this could be a romantic dynamic worth watching out for. Will the characters be in love? Will the Joker be abusive? Will Harley snap and smash him in the face with her giant, phallic hammer? We can only hope.

Wait. That came out wrong…

In part three, we’ll be looking at the remaining cast, including Killer Croc, El Diablo, and the difference between Deathstroke and Deadshot!

Suicide Squad’s All-New, All-Different Joker

When Warner Bros., cast Jared Leto as the Joker in the upcoming Suicide Squad film, there was a lot of concern. Heath Ledger’s portrayal of the Joker is universally beloved. No one really thought that another actor could reprise the role and do it justice. But earlier today, director David Ayer posted the first photo of Leto in costume.

One of the biggest causes of concern among fans was that Heath Ledger is generally accepted as the ultimate Joker. Thematically, his costume was toned down, with sludgy green hair and a burnt purple suit. His voice was little more than a growl. His quiet, withdrawn demeanor was just what the franchise needed at the time, and perfectly opposed to the widespread, graphic violence he wrought on Gotham.

And so it makes sense that the new Joker, as portrayed by Jared Leto, You can practically feel the nervous energy coming off him. While Ledger’s Joker was a subtle, psychotic genius, Leto’s looks set to be the kind of high-energy, ultra-violent, manic character that a film like Suicide Squad calls for.

Many fans, particularly those who only really know the Joker from the Dark Night and other Batman-based films and television shows, don’t realise just how physically violent the character is. Ledger’s version of the Joker, despite carrying the odd knife, was much more prone to get others to do the heavy lifting for him. Yes, he planted a couple of bombs and shot a few people, but he was never that involved in physical combat. Contrast that with some of his appearances in the comic books, and you get a better idea of where Suicide Squad is taking that character. After all, this is the man who shot Barbara Gordon, the original batgirl, just to torture her father, Commissioner Gordon. This is the man who beat Jason Todd, the second Robin, to death just because. And this, I think, is the version of the Joker that we’ll see in the upcoming film.

This? Oh, this is just the Joker casually beating a teenage hero to death with a crowbar. No big deal.

Ledger’s Joker was darker than dark, subtle, withdrawn. Although very little of the actual costume has been revealed, but what we’ve seen already tells us a lot. Point one is the surgical glove. The number of tattoos, the capped teeth, the chunky rings all speak of a more physically-active character. However, there is always the possibility that this, in fact, is the Joker’s costume. Or, at least, the upper half. A more physically active Joker may well go without a shirt. Despite the fact that Leto is well known as a method actor, the idea of covering him in tattoos that no-one will ever see seems a little too far, even for a big-budget film.

Batman is, was, and has always been a straight-laced hero. Yes, he’s violent. Yes, he’s scheming. But his worldview is, ultimately, black and white. There’s no room for grey when you’re Batman. The Joker is the perfect archenemy for Batman, not because he’s totally chaotic. Batman wears dark, monochrome colours. The Joker is in the most lurid colours imaginable in green and purple (in terms of colours, the Joker also opposes the majority of comic book heroes, who wear primary colours). The Joker and Batman are perfect opposites as the extroverted Joker, in his colourful clothing represents chaos, while the introverted, monochromatic Batman embodies order and discipline.

It should be remembered, as well, that neither Ledger nor Leto exactly conform to the original comic book portrayal of the Joker. They’re both uniquely damaged in their own way. The original Joker is a basic templete. It’s up to the acotrs, the writers, and directors to decide which direction they want to take it in. So while Ledger’s Joker challenged his Batman simply by being chaotic, Leto’s looks set to be just that bit more active, largely due to the fact that Batman won’t appear in Suicicde Squad. Without having Batman to challenge him, there’s no telling how Joker’s madness could manifest itself.

Another Gay Superhero: Why Iceman’s Revelation Is Something Completely New

So, Iceman of the X-men is gay.

The character was outed this week in All-New X-men by his telepathic teammate Jean Grey. Just to clarify, this is the so-called ‘Young’ or ‘Original’ Iceman who has been transported to the present from the 60s. The character was transported to the present, together with the rest of his team, in order to prevent a coming mutant genocide caused by former team leader turned terrorist, Cyclops.

Talk about confused.

So, the teenage Iceman is gay, despite the fact that his grown-up counterpart is, apparently, straight. This has made some people a little upset. Largely because, on the face of it, it makes no sense. Fans don’t like it when writers mess with established characters. We saw that enough when Marvel announced the introduction of Miles Morales, the mixed-race Ultimate Spiderman from a parallel universe. Or, when it was first announced that the new Fantastic Four film would feature a black Human Torch, despite the fact that the character is white in the original comics.

Oh, and in case you were wondering why the original Jean Grey didn’t out Iceman back in the 60s when they were first growing up? Basically, time travel has amped up Young Jean’s powers, and she felt that the fact that we’re all so open about sexuality these days meant that she could just go and read er friend’s mind and force him to come out to her. Because that’s what teammates are for.

Personally, the idea of people rejecting this change because Iceman is gay seems bizarre to me. Since their inception, the ‘mutant’ population of the Marvel universe has been used as a proxy for just about every minority going. Black, Asian, Jewish, Muslin, disabled, transgender, and homosexual characters have all been featured in the book’s history. People’s reaction to the revelation seems to be less about the fact that they’ve made a character gay (there’s already Karma, Northstar, Anole, and Prodigy). It’s the fact that they’re meddling with an already established character. Why change the history of an existing character, when there are already gay characters out there that deserve time and attention? Why not simply introduce a new, gay character? The asnwer is simple: because it’s not that kind of story.

A lot of people have already started calling the change to Iceman’s character a ‘retcon.’ Except that it really isn’t. A retcon occurs when new information is inserted into a story, altering the history of a character by providing a new interpretation of a character. Retcons tend to cut out whole sections of a character’s past. A true retcon would make Iceman openly gay from the start of his career. It would have erased his many relationships with women, presumably replacing them with romantic connections with men. The Original Iceman’s history remains intact. The fact that he is, was, and always has been gay- at least according to this week’s issue- simply means that he has been living his life in the closet.

And there’s nothing really that surprising about this fact. Recent Western history is filled with individuals who have come out as homosexual later in life. They remain in the closet for decades because of social pressures, because they fear a negative reaction from their families and friends, worry about damaging their career, or are silenced by a conseravtive religion. Celebrities and politicians are particularly vulnerable to speculation regarding their sexuality. And when they do come out, it causes chaos. Spending so long hiding such a major part of your life obviously has vast consequences on an individual’s psyche. But spending decades ‘playing it straight’ affects everyone you meet. Closeted gay people will marry, will have kids, to avoid speculation over their sexuality. So when they do eventually come out, it not only massively alters their lives, but those of their partners and children.

This has already been touched on in the current issue of All-New X-men as Young Iceman questions how he could be gay when his adult counterpart isn’t. And that much is true. In the past, Iceman has had relationships with well-known figures such as Polaris, Kitty Pryde, and Mystique. The fact that all of these relationships have failed quite spectacularly is one of the things X-men writer Brian Bendis has drawn on in the current series. In the films, Iceman is in a relationship with Rogue. Of all the girls at the Xavier school, he chose the only one who nearly kills people after ten seconds of physical contact.

At this point, I really want to emphasise the difference between the comic books and the films. Marvel comics is well known for using multiple universes as a plot device. It means you can have a whole major storyline which doesn’t have any effect on the main universe. You can introduce new relationships, alter characters’ personalities, change their histories, and so on. Just because the comic book Iceman (living in Earth-616) is gay, doesn’t mean that his movie counterpart has to be gay, too. In fact, X-treme X-men introduced an alternate universe Wolverine who had gold claws, was the British Empire’s Governor of Canada… and was gay. In fact, he was in a relationship with his universe’s version of Hercules. This did not make the main Wolverine gay, nor did it alter the sexuality of his movie counterpart.

As ever, comic books are looking for new and exciting storylines. And the best ones are those that relate to real life. The impact that this one revelation could potentially have It’s not just about Young Iceman being gay. It’s not even just about Grown-up Iceman being gay. It’s about how the writers explain why the character hid his sexuality for the better part of 50 years of storylines. It’s about how the revelation alters the x-men’s group dynamic. It’s about how it alters not just the two Icemen, but their relationships with just about everyone. And, most importantly, it’s about all those people out there, right now, who are still actively denying their sexuality because they’re afraid of what will happen if they come out.

Oh, and for those of you thinking that this change has come out of nowhere, I present to you this tidbit from youtube. You know that something is already deeply ingrained in the cultural conscious when Family Guy make a joke out of it. (Apologies for the low quality)

Hell Is Another Country for Sci Fi and Fantasy

Welcome to the Negative Zone. A parallel universe to the main reality of Marvel comics, the Negative Zone has many wonders to offer. The whole dimension is suffused with a breathable atmosphere, which allows for cool intergalactic battles without having to worry about little things like explosive decompression or asphyxiation. It is also home to an almost endless horde of man-eating super-insects, a prison for the worst super-villains in the multiverse and… not much else.

Scenic Negative Zone. That awe and wonder Mr Fantasic mentions? Not so much.

The same can be said of every major comic book universe. DC has the Phantom Zone, a barren wasteland where the greatest villains of Superman’s home planet are imprisoned. In Archie Comics, the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles face villains that have almost exclusively crawled their way out of Dimension X.

And why?

Why do all these monsters and villains come from, or get trapped in, a single alternate dimension? The second question is easier to answer, of course. Chucking a godlike super being into another dimension is clearly a much better method of disposing of him than locking him up in your local prison. It would be even better if any of these superheroes could find a way of stopping the villains from returning but hey, you can’t have everything, and who doesn’t love a rematch?

The second question is more interesting, and goes a little deeper. Why is it that these places exist solely as breeding grounds for monsters (The Negative Zone and Dimension X) or as prisons to hold psychos that already exist (The Phantom Zone)? Are we really expected to believe that these places have nothing redeemable about them? That there is no art or culture, no religion or music or anything of merit in an entire universe?

Of course, the laws of probability and the many universes theory, around which comic books realities tend to be built, would say yes. If every possible version of every possible world does exist, then surely there must be worlds where nothing good has ever happened, ever. Worlds where all anyone ever does is fight, and kill, and destroy. Worlds with no redeeming qualities.

And in terms of narrative, it’s much more satisfying to have an easily identified enemy with an obviously evil background, both historical and geographical. Having a character like Sauron come from the land of cupcakes and rainbow univ corns would be a tad confusing. Although it might explain why he was always in such a foul mood.

And when you start to look at it like that, you can see the same thing happening all over the shop. Take Mordor from JRR Tolkein’s Lord of the Rings. A region of arid desert, mountains, the occasional volcano, and hordes of evil creatures, what good has ever come out of Mordor? One of the possible origins of the Orcs, as proposed by Tolkein, is that they were originally ‘East Elves’ or ‘Avari’ that were captured and corrupted by Melkor (the Devil in Tolkein’s mythos). Add to this the fact that their costumes in early illustrations appear to have more than slight Middle Eastern influences, and it isn’t that much of a leap to realise that the Orcs are basically Middle Earth’s equivalent to every negativised Eastern group from Huns to Muslims. Now, I don’t want to cast aspersions on Tolkein’s attitude towards other faiths. But Tolkein is well known for the heavy Christian influence in his work. And my point is this; Why does Mordor need to be the source of all evil, and not one tiny bit of good? Why does evil have to spring from a desolate, foreign land with no redeeming features to it?

Artist’s impression of an Orc by Antoine Gledel.

Evil, the worst evil, the kind that barely registers on the level of human comprehension, has to be externalised. It has to come from somewhere separate from our world, or a world that we understand, so that we can accept its existence. We don’t want to believe that humanity, or anything that looks or acts or feels like humanity, can be responsible for this level of destruction. We can’t even accept that something that comes from the same universe would act like this. So we have to push it to the boundary of the universe, to the edge of the map and, if possible, over the edge.

The Phantom Zone: Rocks, clouds, and skulls. That is all.

And as for the possible race association I alluded to earlier, well, it’s not that surprising, is it? Particularly in America, where a whole generation has grown up viewing the Middle East as nothing more than the source of pain and chaos. In a centralised West, everything beyond one’s borders becomes a negativised other. We don’t see the beauty and culture that these areas contain, because all we are presented with is an endless stream of information about all the horrors that they contain.

Even if evil does come from ‘our’ world, it is preferable that it come from far away. A few decades ago, almost all villains in actions films were vaguely Eastern European. Today, they tend to be Middle Eastern. As a society, we identify problem areas of the world as sources for conflict in our entertainment. Real-life disaster zones become fuel for fiction, granting villains their point of origin while ignroing everything else these places have to offer us. And just check out htis page from Astonishing X-men a few years back. According to Wolverine, nothing good comes out of Africa. The whole place is basically Hell on Earth, and he goes on to say that anyone who gets into power basically turns evil as soon as they’re in office.

Skirting over the thousands of years of culture, the cradle of humanity, and the countless examples of natural beauty.

Fiction and reality reflect each other to such an extent that it is so much easier to have two-dimensional villains from matching backgrounds. Evil can’t come from within us, so it must be externalised. But to make that externalisation satisfying, to merrit the world-destroying wars we wage on the likes of Annihilus, Sauron, and Krang, they, and their people, and their worlds, can have no redeeming features.

Dimension X. See that Eden world? Yeah, no sentient beings are allowed on those.

So why don’t we flip it? I would like Marvel and DC, and any writer anywhere, to mix things up. Show us the good in the evil dimension or country. Don’t just fill it up with 2D monsters. Create real, flesh and blood characters with proper cultures and histories beyond the need to lay waste to everything they see.

Because yes, the world beyond our borders can be horrifying. But it can be kind of beautiful, too. If we let it.

Hero or Zero?: The Value of Comic Book-Inspired Workouts

We are living in the age of the comic book. Graphic novels and comic books have never been popular, with their own sections in libraries and bookshops. Footfall might be low in the old-school dank and dirty comic book shops, but the online community has never been stronger. Superhero movies are now the go-to for Summer blockbusters, earning Disney (the parent company for Marvel) plenty of dosh in ticket sales alone, never mind selling merchandise in everything running from lunchboxes and t-shirts to exclusive figurines and replica props. Over the next few years, we’re set for a massive explosion of films from both Marvel and DC.

For many men, the figures appearing in comic book films are a point of aspiration. Comic books have always allowed us to live out our power fantasies, particularly their traditional audience of young males who are more likely to be found in a science lab or library than on the football pitch. Almost every bloke watching a superhero wants to be the hero. They want the power and the theatrics. They want the chance to save the world and get the girl (or guy) of their dreams.

As a result, there is a growing trend in superhero workouts. Typing ‘superhero workout’ into google this morning returned over four million results. Almost every men’s lifestyle magazine and website has featured a superhero-themed workout plan in the last couple of years. There are plenty of websites out there promising to introduce users to the same workout and diet plans used by the likes of Christian Bale as Batman or Andrew Garfield as Spiderman. The validity, and effectiveness, of these workouts is, of course, questionable.

One of the most appealing aspects of a superhero workout is, of course, the fact that you can pretend to be your favourite hero while you do it. Everyone else might see John Doe, working out in a grotty gym in Cardiff, but secretly you know that you’re Green Arrow, training for your continuing crusade against villainy. For my money, the best website is neilarey.com. Variety is, as they say, the spice of life, and these guys have put together a whole range of workouts based on everyone from the Hulk to the Flash. Most importantly, though, is that most of the workouts are both sensible and realistic. They don’t assume an unrealistic level of fitness before you start, or that you have access to any kind of gym equipment. You can do the workouts in your home, in the gym, in the park, in the office. Although I have no idea why anyone would feel the need to exercise in their office. Time and place, people.

Neilarey’s Batman Workout

The trouble is that, much like the models that grace the pages of Elle or Vogue, these figures present an unachievable image of physical perfection. Comic book characters don’t have to worry about what they eat, or how many miles they need to run before breakfast. Artists are limited only by their imaginations and their talent, allowing them to produce images of men with impossibly idealistic bodies. The same is true even for the live-action films based on the books. Actors, particularly in big budget films, are among the tiny number of people with the time and means required to achieve the look we see in comic books. And even they have more than a little help. After all, if a graphics wiz can conjure an alien skull the size of a city or an eight-foot tall killer robot, then deepening the shadows on an actor’s six-pack is hardly going to be a challenge, is it?

People try these workouts thinking that they’ll look like Hugh Jackman. The trouble is, everybody’s different. And I do mean every body’s different. People seem to accept that Jackman has more body hair than them, or that Reynold’s is taller than they are. But they seem to struggle getting their head round the fact that, even with the same level of care and attention, no two torsos or arms will be exactly the same. Muscles will be slightly different shapes or positions. Some people will, physically, physiologically, only be able to get so much size or definition into various muscle groups before they reach their limit. Celebrities have the advantage of one-to-one personal training, with exercise and workout plans tailored specifically to them. No all-for-one style online workout coupld ever hope to achieve those kinds of results.

Most men, if you asked, would love to have a superhero body. They’d love it even more if they had the skills, money, and powers associated with them. But you can’t do a load of squats and crunches before going on set in real life. And there’s no fourth-dimensional artist who’s going to give us six-packs (Grant Morrison might disagree, but that’s another matter). Having the body of a superhero may be an unattainable aspiration. But some of the best dreams are those that we know might not, or will not come true. Just because something is unachievable doesn’t mean it’s not worth pursuing. Exercising with the goal of achieving a superhero body, while knowing that it’s not possible, means that you can achieve results, and have fun, without risking injury or the inevitable disappointment when you don’t end up looking like Captain America or Green Lantern.

Klarion vs Loki: Tricksters FTW

There’s a new Trickster in town. Blue skinned, pointy-eared, devil-horn cowlicks, Klarion is the latest magic-wilding addition to DC’s roster of books. The character was originally created by Jack Kirby, who supposedly based his witch-boy on a stuck-up fanboy. Peter Davidson recast the character as a clown in his Young Justice series. Finally, in the hands of writer and real-life magician Grant Morrison, Klarion became a disturbing, reality-bending psycho.

Now, Klarion’s back in his own title, written by Ann Nocenti and drawn by Trevor McCarthy. And he’s… well, he’s a little different once again. The beauty of writing a comic centred around a minor character is that there’s so much room for innovation. The book itself is beautiful, with clever variations in the panel layout, the use of colour, and countless easter eggs hidden away in the gutters between panels. We have everything from runes and pentagrams to foreshadowed images and hints for the futures (What is in the auxiliary storage room glimpsed in Issue 2? I must know!). In Anne Nocenti’s hands, Klarion has become a teenage runaway, a chaos-seeking kid from a parallel world on a magic-fuelled joyride through New York. Not entirely evil, but not exactly good, he’s a raging bag of hormones and occult juju. Two issues in, and we have a brewing war between traditional magic and techno-magic, a stuttering attempt at a love-triangle between Klarion and his new friends Rasp (who is getting in pretty deep with Nekron, the techno-magic peddler) and Rapunzel (who has appropriately over-sized hair), and aprobably-dead cat in a jar. Because the Schrödinger’s box was full, I guess. We also have

The appearance of the new title is systemic of a growing change in pop culture. We’re falling in love with the trickster. Traditional notions of good versus evil are done away with in the larger conflict of the book. Is techno-magic evil, or just unknown? Should we trust the teachings peddled in the Moody Museum just because they follow traditional ideas of what magic should be? With the sudden popularity of Loki following the Thor and Avengers movies, which in turn lead to the character gaining his own comic book series, the bastard with a heart of gold is definitely here to stay. Elsewhere in comics, we’ve seen Luci in The Wicked + The Divine, a female Bowie-inspired Devil who raises more than her fair share of chaos.

We’re all familiar with the antihero. These characters are often dependent on their harsh outlook and brutal displays of violence in order to win the day, fighting fire with fire as they use evil to fight evil. Think characters like Blade and Batman. The difference here is that the Trickster relies on his wits. In an age where we are, slowly but surely, redefining what it means to be a man, we increasingly favour the intellectual chess-master over the musclebound hunk. And that’s a good thing. Thor, Superman, James Bond, and countless other characters fit the traditional macho stereotype, even if some of them do waver on the line between good and evil. With the influence of everything from The Big Bang Theory and Sherlock to Derren Brown and Julian Assange, the Trickster is finally having his day. Always at least one step ahead, relying on his intelligence as much, if not more, than his physical prowess, the Trickster’s success in modern entertainment reflects our increasing respect for the planners, plotters, and intellectuals in today’s society.

Part of the beauty of these characters is the automatic sense of complexity that comes behind the ambiguity of their morals. Are they good? Are they evil? Are they somewhere in between? Peter Capaldi’s portrayal of the titular character in Doctor Who illustrates this nicely. The whole of the most recent series has been about the Doctor’s morality, with the character himself questioning whether or not he is ‘a good man.’ This question, if deployed appropriately, hooks the audience’s attention straight away. Hopefully. But it can be a double-edged sword. Sometimes, so much mystery is built up over a character’s allegiance that there’s nothing behind it. When the entirety of a character is depends on that mystery, we are often left with a barely-there personality when that question is finally resolved. Characters such as Catwoman have crossed the line between hero and villain so many times that we just don’t care any more. Is she good or evil? Who knows? More importantly, who cares?

The same could be said for Klarion. At this stage, much of the title hinges on the effect that Klarion’s magic has on those around him. He doesn’t appear to be particularly malevolent, just negligent. Like any teen, he is pretty self-obsessed, which causes problems when you can shape reality at will. I only hope that the good-evil dilemma doesn’t expand to fill the whole book, as it already has the potential to crush an underused character before he has the chance to hit his stride.

There is a part of us that loves the bad guy, a part that secretly roots for chaos to win out over order. There’s a part of us that loves the idea of being able to do whatever we want, to spill something on the pristine white cloth, to break the dishes just to hear them smash. Every fan of Batman is, secretly, just as much a fan of the Joker, if not more so. Deep down inside, there’s a part of us that longs for chaos. And that’s what these characters exploit.

Is Klarion DC’s answer to Marvel’s Loki? I hope not. DC already has a roster of Tricksters including the likes of John Constantine (who gets extra points for being a Brit, even if he is centrally located in New York), the Question, and the Joker. History shows that flat-out copies of characters, lacking the spark of originality, rarely last long. There’s already one Loki. We don’t need, or want, another. If Klarion is given the chance to shine that he deserves, he’ll go far. If not, he may just be a footnote on the long history of the Trickster.

Review: The Wicked +The Divine #1-5: The Faust Act

Note: I had intended to write a review of each issue as it emerged. However, because I didn’t start reading until the second issue, and I didn’t have a blog at the time, I decided to hold off until the end of the first arc, the cleverly entitled The Faust Act.

Rolling straight off of the success of their recent run on Young Avengers, Kieron Gillen and Jamie McKelvie have between them produced an amazing piece of work. The central idea behind the comic is ingenious, reminiscent of Neil Gaiman’s seminal American Gods and Terry Pratchett’s Small Gods. The story revolves around a group of short-lived pop-culture gods known as the Pantheon, who appear on Earth every ninety years. Each character acts as the avatar of a different god, including a David Bowie-influenced Lucifer and a semi-cyborg Woden. They all have vast, if ambiguous, powers, including the ability to blow people’s heads off by clicking their fingers. More on that later. They are loved and worshiped by thousands- if not millions- of fans-turned-followers. The only downside is that they only have two years to live.

At its base, The Faust Act is a murder mystery. Lucifer is arrested for blowing the heads off a pair of would-be god killers. During the trial, the judge’s head also blows up. This leads Laura on a quest to find the true killer. Laura’s journey leads her through London Underground, Newgate prison, The National Portrait gallery, and many more. One of the triumphs of this series is the way that it captures the quintessential atmosphere of Britain in general, and London in particular. The link between pop gods and pop music is clear, allowing a view of what it means to be a young person living in London today, with the disparate influences of countless different cultures and scenes.

But the gods aren’t entirely the centre of the series. The focus is Laura, a sixteen-year old superfan from London. Laura catches the eye of first Lucifer and then the other gods, and her life is turned upside down when she is invited into their inner circle. One of the most interesting relationships of the series is Laura’s connection with Cassandra, a former student of mythology turned reporter. Like Laura, Cassandra is determined to get in with the Pantheon, if only to expose them as frauds, but is blocked at every turn. The growing friendship between Laura and Cassandra is conflicted by the attitude of the gods to the pair; one is welcomed, the other blocked at every turn. The two mortal characters represent the two extreme response to modern celebrity as Laura’s everywoman status is juxtaposed by her ambition for godhood, while Cassandra’s need to debunk the people that she sees as manipulative fraudsters reflects her own insecurities and identity issues.

The series also explores the power that we give idols and celebrities today. The clash between Baphomet and the Morrigan illustrates it best, as the conflicting egos and power of the two pop gods in their impromptu shared performance threatens to tear the audience apart. But the same idea pops up everywhere. The pop gods don’t worry about accountability the same way that normal people do. They can do things that most of us would only dream of. They can act how they like. They can bend us to their will, just as Woden does with his Valkyries. Watching them perform (Laura refers to it as them ‘speaking’ although what this entails is never completely explored) can put you in a coma. Oh, and they can blow people”s heads off by clicking their fingers.

As with any first arc, the fifth issue l;eaves us with more questions than answers. We still haven’t seen the full Pantheon, and characters like Minerva and Woden only appear briefly. There is still a murderer wandering around, potentially blowing people’s heads off. Is it racist for a white girl from Britain to claim to be the incarnation of a Shinto goddess? Is this the last we’ve seen of Lucifer? And, most importantly, what in the name of Cthulu is Laura going to do now?

The Wicked +The Divine is the best thing in comics since Saga, and ticks many of the same boxes. Each issue is packed with action, emotional drama, humour, and suspense. I mentioned Gaiman’s American Gods earlier, and I would definitely recommend this comic to any fan of his work. This work certainly lives up to its title, and, with its combination of beautiful art, clever visual allusions, crowning moments of awesome, and mind-boggling cliffhangars, I can hardly wait for the start of the second arc. Especially after that final page.

The trade paperback of The Wicked + The Divine: The Faust Act is now available for preorder online.

Teasing the Teasers: Marvel’s Age of Ultron

Yesterday, the teaser trailer for Marvel’s next Avengers film, ‘Age of Ultron,’ was leaked ahead of schedule. Marvel responded to the leak by… releasing the exact same trailer a few hours later. They also blamed the leak on Hydra, the fictional terrorist organisation featured in Agents of SHIELD and the first Captain America film. The latter move was actually quite funny. The former was… kind of pointless.

In a review of the trailer, The Times 2 highlighted the sheer number of stars featured in the advert. This shouldn’t be a surprise; the film is based on an ensemble comic book. The average team roster in comics is between six and eight. Marvel’s business plan with the films is to introduce individual characters in their own films (Captain America 1 and 2, Iron Man 1-3, Hulk, etc) and then bring them all together for great big showdowns in their blockbuster films. The whole premise of the film is that it ties early appearances together. So no wonder that there are so many actors and characters featured.

More surprising was the admonition of the lack of a plot. Excuse me? It’s a teaser trailer. It runs for exactly two minutes and seventeen seconds. I’ve had sneezing fits that have lasted longer. How much plot do you want? The idea that the film has ‘explosions and robots’ means that it doesn’t have a plot is nonsense.

For those who don’t know, Ultron’s story is actually quite an interesting one. Ultron first appeared as a villain in the Avengers comic book in 1968. In an attempt to keep the earth safe from harm, and aid the Avengers in their missions, super-genius Hank Pym (aka Ant-man, aka Giant-man, briefly the Wasp, occasionally Goliath) creates a super-powered robot and names it Ultron. And then, with all the predictability we expect from sci-fi, Ultron turns on his creators. Chaos ensues.

The title, ‘Age of Ultron,’ comes from 2013’s summer comic book event of the same name. The story features a lot of time travel, with Wolverine (because it has to be Wolverine, doesn’t it? Because no other superhero is capable of being centre stage for more than five minutes if Wolverine is in any way available to growl and cut things up) eventually saving the day by travelling back in time and convincing a younger Hank Pym to program in a fail-safe program which allows them to destroy the dastardly villain in the present. Meanwhile, another group of heroes travel into the future to… you know what? Never mind…

Both the original Ultron storyline and last year’s big event can hardly be called plotless, as The Times seems to think. Ok, so the plots may not stand up too well to a close examination, but that’s a separate issue. Ultron’s story draws heavily on classic tales such as Mary Shelley’s ‘Frankenstein’ with its ideas of science gone wrong and a creature turning on its creator. The idea of technology rebelling against humanity is a stalwart of the sci-fi genre, and remains a hot topic in a world where fashion designers are creating jewelry that turns the blood in our veins into a power source.

So yes, of course the trailer features explosions and robots. Film, and particularly when based on comic books, is primarily a visual medium. Teaser trailers give away just enough to hook the audience’s interest, not divulge the entire story in one go. ‘You didn’t really expect a plot, did you?’ No, no we didn’t. Your condescending tone? We definitely saw that coming.