We are living in the age of the comic book. Graphic novels and comic books have never been popular, with their own sections in libraries and bookshops. Footfall might be low in the old-school dank and dirty comic book shops, but the online community has never been stronger. Superhero movies are now the go-to for Summer blockbusters, earning Disney (the parent company for Marvel) plenty of dosh in ticket sales alone, never mind selling merchandise in everything running from lunchboxes and t-shirts to exclusive figurines and replica props. Over the next few years, we’re set for a massive explosion of films from both Marvel and DC.
For many men, the figures appearing in comic book films are a point of aspiration. Comic books have always allowed us to live out our power fantasies, particularly their traditional audience of young males who are more likely to be found in a science lab or library than on the football pitch. Almost every bloke watching a superhero wants to be the hero. They want the power and the theatrics. They want the chance to save the world and get the girl (or guy) of their dreams.
As a result, there is a growing trend in superhero workouts. Typing ‘superhero workout’ into google this morning returned over four million results. Almost every men’s lifestyle magazine and website has featured a superhero-themed workout plan in the last couple of years. There are plenty of websites out there promising to introduce users to the same workout and diet plans used by the likes of Christian Bale as Batman or Andrew Garfield as Spiderman. The validity, and effectiveness, of these workouts is, of course, questionable.
One of the most appealing aspects of a superhero workout is, of course, the fact that you can pretend to be your favourite hero while you do it. Everyone else might see John Doe, working out in a grotty gym in Cardiff, but secretly you know that you’re Green Arrow, training for your continuing crusade against villainy. For my money, the best website is neilarey.com. Variety is, as they say, the spice of life, and these guys have put together a whole range of workouts based on everyone from the Hulk to the Flash. Most importantly, though, is that most of the workouts are both sensible and realistic. They don’t assume an unrealistic level of fitness before you start, or that you have access to any kind of gym equipment. You can do the workouts in your home, in the gym, in the park, in the office. Although I have no idea why anyone would feel the need to exercise in their office. Time and place, people.
Neilarey’s Batman Workout
The trouble is that, much like the models that grace the pages of Elle or Vogue, these figures present an unachievable image of physical perfection. Comic book characters don’t have to worry about what they eat, or how many miles they need to run before breakfast. Artists are limited only by their imaginations and their talent, allowing them to produce images of men with impossibly idealistic bodies. The same is true even for the live-action films based on the books. Actors, particularly in big budget films, are among the tiny number of people with the time and means required to achieve the look we see in comic books. And even they have more than a little help. After all, if a graphics wiz can conjure an alien skull the size of a city or an eight-foot tall killer robot, then deepening the shadows on an actor’s six-pack is hardly going to be a challenge, is it?
People try these workouts thinking that they’ll look like Hugh Jackman. The trouble is, everybody’s different. And I do mean every body’s different. People seem to accept that Jackman has more body hair than them, or that Reynold’s is taller than they are. But they seem to struggle getting their head round the fact that, even with the same level of care and attention, no two torsos or arms will be exactly the same. Muscles will be slightly different shapes or positions. Some people will, physically, physiologically, only be able to get so much size or definition into various muscle groups before they reach their limit. Celebrities have the advantage of one-to-one personal training, with exercise and workout plans tailored specifically to them. No all-for-one style online workout coupld ever hope to achieve those kinds of results.
Most men, if you asked, would love to have a superhero body. They’d love it even more if they had the skills, money, and powers associated with them. But you can’t do a load of squats and crunches before going on set in real life. And there’s no fourth-dimensional artist who’s going to give us six-packs (Grant Morrison might disagree, but that’s another matter). Having the body of a superhero may be an unattainable aspiration. But some of the best dreams are those that we know might not, or will not come true. Just because something is unachievable doesn’t mean it’s not worth pursuing. Exercising with the goal of achieving a superhero body, while knowing that it’s not possible, means that you can achieve results, and have fun, without risking injury or the inevitable disappointment when you don’t end up looking like Captain America or Green Lantern.
The Backstreet Imaginarium 